Xmas~~

心里的声音。。。

最近的心情。。。很复杂。。。
自从独自来新加坡工作之后。。。跟家人，朋友，伴侣见面的时间都减少了很多很多。。。
今天，我的deardear的简讯写下了。。。
“早知道不让你去新加坡做工。。。”

我自问~是否真的后悔出来做工？？
我的答案却是非常明确的。。。“没有~！”

但是~我后悔没有好好的把握去读书的机会。。。
现在的我。。。很茫然。。。没有方向。。。
好想读。。。可是却没有动力。。。是懒惰？是害怕？

抛开所有顾虑~~
我自问：“你到底想要什么样的未来？”
我要以后的日子是可以安稳，不用为钱烦恼的日子。。。

现在的我。。。其实顾虑太多太多了。。。
为什么我就不能简单一点点？？？

2nd Piece @17-12-2009

Paint 17/12/2009

Fun Fun~~

LOLX.....
I just simply draw....
Like kid's paint....

感慨。。。

刚读完一篇报导。。。是有关14岁少女被迷奸的新闻。。。
很心酸。。。
一个只有14岁的少女。。。到底有怎么样的能耐？？有什么样的能耐去承受这些？？

那几个败类。。。到底是为什么而做出这样的事情？？
就只是因为好玩？？

一点点。。。

今天的我。。。
情绪好复杂。。。

一点点难过。。。

一点点痛苦。。。

一点点不知所措。。。

我经常不能够明白我所作的任何决定。。。

我的感情。。。有时候我真的没有办法想象我到底能够保护的好不好？？
我会傻傻的想很多。。。我真的可以好好的维持吗？？？
我做的够好吗？？

我的伴侣。。。
是否真的会永远陪着我？？

OMG.....

OMG................
Know wat... I received a call from my mummy yesterday....
Asked me this and that this and that...
Lastly.... She came out a question shocked me....
My mom:"how long have you been with your boyfriend?"
Me:" Erm... 4 years +..."
My Mom:"Aiyo... It's time to ROM....."
Me:" HUH??? WHAT???"
My Mom: " Register lah... "

I am still in shock mood....

Me:"Do you want to talk to him? He is just beside me."
My mom:" ok. you ask him to answer."

I pass the phone to him....
My mom:"......................." (I dunno wat did she say...)
My boyfriend:"hahahahaha....I am........" ( I can't really understand wat did he say too)
My mom:".........................."
My boyfriend:"............................"

The conversation above.... I am just blur..... I dunno wat's going on.....hahaha~
Then I asked my bf.... Wat did my mom tell you?

He said:" She asked me to pick a good day den go for register....."

Can you all imagine wat's my reaction????

OMG.....

My Future???

I've been thinking for so many times.....
What can i do in my future???
This is really very hard to answer.....
I can't find a good answer....

But NOW!!!

I come across of......
I need to be hardworking.... I need to be smart....
I need to save money...
Money is so important.... Without money.... even a true love can falls....
Love is so important too.... Without Love.... Even money can't buy love....

So, Conclusion~~~
I have someone who i love so much and he loves me so much....
We should do something to maintain our love always sweet....
Which is We have to keep up together....
We save together to make our life can be good always....

Family LoVE~~~
I LOVE my Grandma,
I LOVE my Papa & Mama,
I LOVE my Sisters....
I LOVE my Brothers.....

I am a girl who needs a lot of love......

Wish...

I wish God Bless Her....

A sms from Jun....
will bring her home....just wait for time to pass....
my tears drop.....

"Hv mentally prepared...." from the Dr.

What can be done??
NOthing....

A Kind Of Feeling

I received a sms from Jun...
He expressed his bad feelings to me....
Scare.... Lost....
I can feel that he is really love me and he makes me feel that i am his only one...

As what i told him... There's ONLY ONE people you love the most and ONLY ONE people who love you most.... I met this person.... and I will CHERISH .....

My NeW RinG

I LoVE Our Ring~~ LoVE RinG~~

I Feel Lost...

What am i doing??
What should i do next?
I am lost.... lost....

I don't know what should i do....

Should i continue what i am doing now? Should i get thru it to get a better one?
But how??

Now I Realise....

A life can be so strong...
A life can be so weak....

It's a new life coming but he can't enjoy the parent's love, family warm....
Just gone like that without any "announcement"....
He never had the chance to see the world...
He just left...

The parent sad, the family sad......

Looking forward for you,
But now....nothing.... no chance to meet you...no chance to hug, to kiss.....
Nobody knows why......

May God Bless....Bless you and the parent.... I hope everything can be fine....

Something Wrong~~

I made a mistake....
Feeling so bad.....
So sad....

But, I learn from the mistake....
I will not repeat it again~!!!

Lonely~~~

I din go back to malaysia this week... and i miss my dear so much~~~
I miss my ah ma's curry so much...I miss it~~~

My dear dear fell sick, yet i m not beside him..... so sad....~~~~
Pity pity~~~~

MiLY n Girl

So Sad....

Yesterday we had a small quarrel.....
So down.....
He is really unhappy with me....cos i talk to him in a way he dun like....
Actually i know he is worry about me...
I did apology...but he dun wanna accept....
maybe i really made him very sad....

Dear dear, I am so sorry....
Please forgive me can???
I am so sad too if you still angry about me....

4th *929*

Dear, it's our 4th 929....
Keep it up n make us can get more 929....

You are really my dearest.....
No matter how.... I wish i can always be the only one in your heart....
And I promise.... Cross my Heart.... You will be the only one in my heart forever n ever....

Never Change....
Take Good Care of yourself.... Don't get hurt of yourself.....
I will so pain if i see you in hurt....

I Love You......Hugs & Kisses....

Happy Trip

Breeze~~

Backed From the Trip~

A simple trip... But enjoy it...
Eat, Play, Drink til late night....with family....

First time i tried fishing and i got 2 fishes one time....
So Happy~~~~
Fish Fish~~~
But....I don't really like to stay in kelong.... really can't get use of it....

5 Days more~~~

Another 5 days~~~
I am counting down ~~~~ Ha ha~~~
I will n must take A~~~LOT~~~ of pictures den upload them to my facebook n blog~~~~

Yesterday went for my dear friend's house.... her 3th kid full month~~
So fast....3 kids ady.....
I love kids but i wish i can get them later....

many of his relatives keep on saying" when will you get marry?" "faster hv your own baby~"
omg~ i nearly fainted when first few times they told mw about this....
But now.... getting use of it~~~ LOL~~~
What is the reason to be so soon??? I am still young n I am now still not stable to have kids....

Happiness~~

Happiness~ **will stay n stick to somebody forever n ever....
**under condition of those who will cherish it...
if not, it will be dream off~

I tell myself....cherish whatever i have now....
n look forward for what i want....
I was a girl who did not want to get closer with family...
I am a girl who enjoys and loves my family so much....

I wish i can hold whatever i have now...
And never regrets.....

Looking Forward~~~

I am now so happy cos next week will go for family trip with my family~~
My dear dear will join us too...
This year...we will go air papan n kelong~~
somebody sed the foods there are FANTASTIC~~~
COOL right??

BUT hor... i will scare my weight will after the trip....HAiz....
Don't bother~~~ Swim more n more exercise ~~

Happy Happy Happy n ..................................HAPPY~~~

Sweet Words from MY BeLoved Baby~

In my heart, there's a queen staying inside,
she's borned to behave kind and cute,
not pretentious, not fake,
Good tempered~
The Best girl I met among others, and also a girl i will cherish~~


To my Beloved Jun:
~Je traverse mon coeur je t'aimerai toujours~

Suddenly~

I found my blog got not much pictures...

Today, in i woke up at 3++AM~
OMG~~ tired like hell....
My poor dear dear need to wake up so early too to send me to the bus stop....
I backed to spore today with my deardear's mummy by bus....

Never do this again... IT"S TIRED~!! FATIGUE~!!

I am benefits from Hakubi White C~~

Getting fairer...Hahaha~~~I m so happy about it lo~~
But hor....my dark circle becomes more obvious oso....
haiz...this is wat makes me sad....
anyway...i m now still taking hakubi....

My little -dai-,
you can try liao....cos can see result from me leh....

Lovely Saturday~

I am going back to msia today...huhuhaha~
i miss my dear dear ica....
i can go back to see my ah ma ank ask her to cook her nice nice home cooked dishes...
imagine n i m smiling~~!!!

Oh my lovely saturday~

Scare scare...

yesterday.....
i backed from malaysia alone at late night...
walking alone at the empty street....
reli reli reli reli reli reli.................make me scare lo.....

still not use in see my deardear once a week lo....
everytime when he sends me to the custom....still feel unbearable....
haiz....

needs time???
i think i will never get use of it....

Saturday night....
Went to xiaodai's house....for her BIG BIG 21st Birthday Party nei....
Hahaha~~ Not many our own frens....
But i get know of xiaobu....i likes xiaobu....
Hehehe.....

My Uncle~~

Dear uncle,
You must " live" well there....
Do take good care of yourself n please don't drink so much of alcohol...
You didn't live well and with happiness before you go...
Please be remember to "bao you" grandma... She is so sad about you....
And we are so worry about her... You must remember to take care of her health...

I know that you gone is a reality...
What happened before u go are really upset me....
I wish you can be well there.....
God Bless~~

NIce NIceHar Mee

wow~~finally i found a reli nice har mee stall....wahaha~~
it's jz opposite my work place....Great World City....
Big Prawn Mee....
the soup reli sweet...
the prawn big n fresh...
COOL~!!!

Anyone, can go n hv a try....GO GO GO~!!

Battle~whitening~~HABUKI WHITE~!!!

i just bought a bottle of hakubi white to start a battle...wu haha...
i wanna become fair....jz started for 2 days...after 1 month...
will i become fairer???
who knows???

i wanna become fair....
fair....
FAIR............

can someone tell me what else can i do???
i did take pills, i did protect myself when i m undersun....
n...i get myself dun go undersun often....
i did apply whitening skin products....erm...dat's all....
enough??? can anybody tell me??

And 1 more.....i dun wanna become panda emily.....
i dun like my panda eyes....sob...~~~
HAIZ...SIGH~~~~

me n Xiao Dai @ Bugis

xiaodai xiaodai....
i reli dun like durian....

we went to hv desserts....
she: durian ice kacang
me: milk steamed egg

i m anti-durian.....
xiaodai sed durian is the best thing.....
bt to me.....durian~~~"NO~!!!"

My DearDearr~~@ VIvo CiTY

这一天。。。很开心~~(^-^)
我和我的deardear来到vivo city楼上。。。
吹吹风，心里好开心。。。
两个人在一起。。。原来很矛盾。。。
可以很开心，也可以很难过~~~
他抱着我。。。我靠在他的胸膛。。。
心里满满的幸福滋味~~

闷闷的心情。。。

今天，他寄来了一封信息说他要去pub。这"pub"这个词。。。我看了就讨厌。。。
看了心里就很不舒服。。。
我不知道到底是因为什么原因，就是很不喜欢他跟他的朋友去pub.
他明知道我不喜欢。。。却还是会去。。。偶尔。。。
是很少，但我希望的是不要去。。。
什么是平常？？那女人出入也很平常。。。是不是我也可以去？？
是不是我朋友叫我去，我就顺便一起去？？
为什么不能拒绝？？
为什么不好意思？？
我不能够明白。。。
是没有错。。。的确没有时常去。。。
我没有在身边。。。虽然没有人帮你盖被，没有人帮你关灯，没有人帮你泡milo.......
可是好像依然不孤单。。。
我乖乖。。。。呆在家里。。。
可是，你没有乖。。。
我到家，想要那一点点时间。。。好好的聊聊天。。。谈谈心。。。

两个人在一起。。。到底是怎么一回事？？
我越来越模糊。。。
两个人的相处。。。到底应该怎么样？？
我越来越迷惘。。。

眼睛湿湿。。。摸一摸脸，湿了~~~~~

feeling nt good

吵架。。。
不能说吵架。。。或许正确点的说法是口角。。。
刚刚和他发生了一些口角。。。
现在的我们有着距离。。。不懂是因为不能天天见面，没有办法很好的沟通？？
我很想念他，直到他也很想念我。。。
可是，刚才通电话的时候却让我觉得。。。让他指点的地方多过倾心的聊天。。。

过后他回了我信息，道歉。。。

好像平常一样了。。。没事了。。。

@Raffles City

今天在raffles city tower的outlet做工。。。。
吃了subway当午餐~~~
我第一次吃subway~~~
好好吃~！！！！可是贵哦~~~不能常吃~~~
在这里，要省钱。。。因为我来新加坡的目的就是要好好努力做工赚钱阿~~

我的人生遇到了很多抉择~~我不懂到底应该怎样继续走下去。。。
很想就这样平平淡淡。。。但是却心有不甘~~~到底我最后会走到哪里？？？

想念的声音。。。

才刚刚从m'sia回来不久，就好想好想我的dear dear...
今天回来之前就一直粘着他。。。现在的我们是周末恋人。。。
我一星期回去一次。。。也就只见那一次。。。
其实啊。。。今天抱着他差点点就要流泪了。。。好舍不得~~~
原来他也很想念，也会舍不得我。。。
我的dear dear真的越来越可爱。。。让我好爱好爱。。。

Working In Spore

i m now working in spore....the job is quite simple...n the ppls r nice n friendly...
learning new things is good n i feel these ppls r reli gd in services...
i m trying my best to learn n hope can doing it good....

i m reli reli miss my dear dear....bt nt like previous time can b together everyday...
sad....

光阴飞逝

原来时间真的过的好快。。。
转眼间，就快要离开我的家里，到新加坡去开始另外的起点。。。
还蛮期待的。。。因为没有真正离开家里过呢。。。

这几天其实希望他能好好的陪着我的。。。可是他却说要去找朋友。。。
难道他没有想到不久后我和他见面的机会会少之又少了吗？？？
难道他就不会像多一些时间再陪陪我吗？？
也许男生真的不需要这些？？？
这样的我好像会让人觉得很懦弱。。。
也许因为我看得太重。。。

不应该这样的。。。。

我的心。。。有个他。。。也只容得下一个他。。。

也许有人会认为我的这样的坚持不会是永远。。。
有人说，当你还没有遇到的时候，想法可以很坚持，可是一旦遇到一个更好的，正常人都回选择更好的。。。我的他，是否也这么想？？？

I thought i can handle it very well, but is it really under my control??
I thought everything will be as good as i think, but is it really as i thought??
I am trying to go through wat i want.... I am.....

原来感情可以很脆弱

一句话真的很重要。。。
说话真的是一门艺术。。。
很多时候，摩擦，误会都是我们说话的语气，用词，表情不适当而产生。。。
当他/她对你说 ：“跟你在一起，有时候真的很累。。。”
也许他要表达的是很表面的“累”。。。
可是，这样的一句话却能够有很大的想象空间。。。

两个人在一起。。。到底是什么那么厉害维持着一段感情那么久？？
我和他。。。严格来说也许真的背景差很远。。。可是，却还是在一起那么久。。。
我们都不懂为什么可以这样？？
对我而言，只因为我真的爱。。。
很多时候，伤人的话。。。会很不经意的伤害一个人。。。所以，我在说话时需要一些时间来思考。。。想清楚再说，避免衍生不必要的误会。。。
可是，却因为这样也让人不高兴。。。因为他们认为反应太慢令人想睡觉。。。

我很希望我们可以走的很远很远。。。可是，没有人能够预测未来。。。
我们都在努力，可是，。。。还是会有可是。。。
因为我变得没有信心。。。
因为我变得胆怯。。。

Going To Singapore

Finally....i 'll be in sg soon....
i decided to go there to work and den decide wat shud i do n wat to decide later on....
Friends.... see you all there~~~

Finally~~I owned a digital camera~~

Ha ha ha~~~
I got my camera....olympus u1050sw...a camera which can use to throw people....
Ha ha ha....can bring along into water....
really happy can buy myself a camera.....
Can bring it to everywhere.....

I like it so much....champagne color....NICE~~~

GiRL's Talk

Just came back from my dear friend's adeline's house....
Went there to visit chichila....so cute....the fur....sooooooooooooo soft......

After dat....chit chat....gals....chat abt everything.....
So long nvr go deline's house.....

Friends, i've been thinking abt wat r friends for?
To help you when you are in trouble?
To lend you their ears when you are feeling bad?
To get high with you when you are excited?
To bluff you...
To cheer you....

I am so happy my friends will accompany me all the way in my life....at least til my 21st yr in my life...hahaha.....
I believe bosom friends indeed bosom friends.....
I have many friends....But are they my bosom friends??
I am not sure actually....
But they are my friends indeed....

So many.....
From A to Z....
All are my precious friends....^~^

Where Should i Go??

I am wondering where should i go??
i've been wasted time and i did not achieve anything......
I feel lost and i am not sure whether the decision i made....is it correct?
I thinking to get better life in future.....
But....did i go for a right way???
I am nt sure but ppl around me hv different opinion.....

I want to be success and i want to enjoy my life, enjoy wat decided to do.....
I dont want to regret of any decision i made.....
I dont want any regrets anymore......